rsmith uses the library computer for the first time in the film; After Bubba throws Coopersmith's hat out the window 15s of dialogue between Coopersmith and Kowalski have been cut; 7s have been cut from Colonel's lecture to Coopersmith right before he administers corporal punishment; Leonard D'John has been cut out of the film 52s; The scene where the pigs charge Coopersmith because Miss Friedemeyer is trying to pry the cross off his book has been reedited The 92m version cross cuts more between Friedemeyer and the book and Coopersmith and the pigs and also contains bits and pieces of the cut footage from D'John's two scenes It runs 2s longer than the 103m version's Each version of the film has a couple shots in this scene that the other does not; 4s are cut of Captain Merrill handing out passes to the roller rink; 8s are cut of Miss Kelly and other kids rollerskating right before Coopersmith confronts the bullies about his missing book; 24s are cut of Coopersmith's confrontation with the bullies; 45s are cut of Sarge taking a wizz in the basement causing smoke to rise up All footage of Coopersmith trying to dodge him with the computer in his hands is removed as well; 16s cut of Coopersmith getting and preparing a food tray in the cafeteria; 23s cut of Jake's speech to Coopersmith about how he doesn't belong at the academy; After Jake gives Fred to Coopersmith 16s of their dialogue has been cut; 12s are cut of workers building and setting up the Miss Heavy Artillery stage; After Coopersmith discovers Esteban's tomb and Esteban possesses the computer 1m 59s of footage have been ditched The scene of Colonel delivering a graduation pep speech on the Miss Heavy Artillery stage is removed in its entirety as is a tracking shot of Miss Friedemeyer driving home and opening the gate to her apartment before fetching her mail; A 1m 11s scene of the Miss Heavy Artillery finalists doing the catwalk has been cut; 5s cut of Coopersmith wandering down the chapel hallway in a daze after hiding Sarge's body and before Kowalski surprises him; 14s cut of Coopersmith finding his way around the bleachers to talk to Miss Kelly; 10s cut of Coopersmith trying to talk to Miss Kelly but nerves getting the best of him; Also Known As Evilspeaks USA; US distributor The Moreno Company hacked up the film shortly before release to ensure its R rating making no effort to fix the soundtrack The following 11 cuts totaling less than 20 seconds were made; A shot of Miss Friedemeyer's Lynn Hancock nude bloody mangled torso lying in the bathtub with her stomach torn open and a grunting boar pulling up a piece of flesh that bears remarkable similarities to a rubber band 1 second; A close up shot of two bloodied chandelier spikes popping out through Hauptman's Hamilton Camp chest 1 second; A shot of the crucified Reverend Jameson Joseph Cortese landing at the Coach's Claude Earl Jones lap 1 second; A few frames of the shot of the reverend's crucified head on the floor after Coach jumps up and knocks him over >1 second; A few more frames of the second shot of the reverend's crucified head on the floor as seen by Colonel Kincaid Charles Tyner >1 second; A Hot ew frames of the shot of Coopersmith Clint Howard bringing the broadsword down on a watermelon shaped like the Colonel's head removing all footage of it splitting open and sending juice and pulp flying >1 second; A shot of two boars eating hot dogs out of Ox Baker's Jim Greenleaf body 2 seconds video nasty list as witnessed by Jo Jo Anderson Louie Gravance A non graphic reaction shot that followed it Jo Jo jumping behind a wall in fear is also removed to attempt to prevent a jump cut 1 second; A few frames of the shot of one of the two boars chewing on Ox Baker's bloody face again as witnessed by Jo Jo Anderson >1 second; A few frames of Jo Jo Anderson's decapitation removing footage of his head falling off >1 second; Two shots of Coach's decapitation one showing his head getting lopped off and his neck stump shooting up blood the other the head landing on the ground 4 seconds; Most frames of the shot of Sarge R G Armstrong pulling Bubba's Don Stark beating heart out of his chest 2 seconds video nasty list and an additional side angle shot that shows it gushing blood in Sarge's hand 2 seconds The heart has been meticulously taken out of the R rated print; Parents Guide Add content advisory for parents; Runtime 89 min video nasty list Canada 97 min video version video nasty list Germany 92 min video nasty list UK 100 min; Country USA; Language English; Color Color; Aspect Ratio 1 85 1 more; Sound Mix Dolby; Certification Finland K 18 video nasty list West Germany 18 cut video nasty list Australia R video nasty list France 16 video nasty list UK 18 video nasty list USA R video nasty list Iceland Banned; The U S release was heavily censored to earn an R rating rather than an X Among the cut material a naked woman is eaten alive in her bathtub by satanically driven boars heads are lopped off and cloven in two limbs removed a heart is ripped still beating from the chest; Goofs Revealing mistakes Obvious dummies in a number of gore scenes the dummies bodies and body parts are often different colors and sizes than the actors real bodies Most obvious is the dummy used in the opening decapitation scene The actress's breasts change size and her nipple and skin color changes before she is bAnned in the uk The French Canadian video release on the Cinéma Plus label under the title Messe Noire contains additional gore which was cut from the U S video release on the 20th Century Fox label; uncut version The original pre cert rental release of Evilspeak was uncut The 1987 UK video release was cut by three minutes and 34 seconds by the BBFC The cuts were two mins two secs of a young maiden having her head chopped off 58 mins one secs of a shot of the basement bloke having his neck broken 65 mins 23 secs of pigs attacking woman in bath and eating her guts 88 mins 19 secs of the priest have a nail in the head and shots of him 90 mins four secs of a teacher having his head splatted by Coopersmith 90 mins 21 secs of a pig eating the fat kid 91 mins nine secs of a kid breaking a window 91 mins 18 secs of pigs eating 91 mins eight secs of another head chop 92 mins 18 secs of a kid banging on a door to escape 92 mins six secs of a fourth head chop 92 mins eight secs of a kid being eaten in an air vent 92 mins two secs of a kid running from pigs 93 mins 11 secs of heart ripping 95 mins eight secs of Coopersmith's digital image The credits have been speeded up but not even the uncut one got the timing right on the letters appearing Normal credit sequence = two mins 30 secs speeded up credits one min 15 secs The initia! Yeah. "Bubba" is played by Don Stark, before the perm, back when he was muscular and slightly better looking.

The plot is somewhat familiar. Coopersmith is terrible at sports, so the Bubba and his butt-headed minions decide to do some nasty things to him to make sure he can't play in the big game. In that he's mostly friendless he has to seek refuge in other areas. I say MOSTLY friendless, because one cadet does indeed befriend him... his name is Kowalski and he's played by DWAYNE FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING?! Yeah, man, you can add Haywood Nelson to the list too! What's next, they decide to unwind and blow off some steam by taking a TAXI to CHEERS? Is RHODA going to be there, man, or is she still visiting with THE JEFFERSONS?

No, no, no, no such luck. Soon, the gritty (yet bad) and the silly (yet bad) collide in the basement of the Military School's Chapel, which, we learn, was founded by that same old Chick Choppin' monk, Father Esteban. In case that Beach Sacrifice didn't clue you in, he wasn't a terribly good Catholic.

While helping Reverend Jameson (Joseph Cortese), obviously no relation to Jenna, clean up the cellar, "Cooperdick" (as his enemies call him) discovers one of those nearly ubiquitous "HIDDEN ROOMS", containing the remnants of Esteban's Satanic relics, including one Anti-Bible that the Clintonator takes a particular shine to. It also contains plenty of dust and cobwebs and really old papers and even older clothes... so naturally he lights every candle in the place. Man, I want to see that Military School Entrance Exam!

Anyway, over the course of the next few days, "the Almost-Richie" starts translating that Pentagram Tome using an advanced device known as a "Com-Pu-Ter". Unbeknownst to Super-Duper-Coopersmith, by reading the pages of the Satanic Spells of Esteban (simply chock full of oaths to one day return) into said "Com-Pu-Ter", it becomes possessed and starts acting like an Evil R2-D2, guiding him astray into the realm of Video Nasty-hood. In some respects this is a lot like Electric Dreams, but without the Boy George songs.

Stark (whom, unfortunately, we see Stark Naked) and his military morons never let up, though, so the inevitable must happen. "The Inevitable Must Happen"? Obvious statement there. Moving on. Anyway, the newly empowered Superdick-Duperdick Cooperdick must have his revenge... it's "Inevitable". Him and his "Com-Pu-Ter-Dick", that is.

All in all, Evilspeak is a pretty bad movie with some decent special effects for the time and the occasional glimpse of Bull from Night Court. Clint Howard does a pretty decent job as the beleaguered semi-protagonist. It's hard not to feel for the guy, given Howard's sympathetic portrayal. Especially when he adopts a puppy. It's like "Yeah, he's going all Satanic now, I guess he's the villain... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaw... A PUPPY!" Writer Joseph Garofalo (whose script had nothing to do with "Com-Pu-Ters" until director Eric Weston's rewrite) never seems to forget that the bad guys are the jackasses who Bullied Coopersmith, not poor old Stanley himself. In fact, it's demonstrated to be only naturally that Stanley Coopersmith would fight fire with fire... or in this case, fight Bullies with Bull... from Night Court.

Still, the "message" if one was intended, seems to be pretty questionable here. Is this an advertisement for Satanism? "Feeling picked on? Try the Devil! I'm Stanley Coopersmith and I had a simply miserable time until Father Esteban introduced me to the goat-pimping might of Beelzebub! Now my enemies do my bidding... and hey, my Acne's cleared up too! What a neat Demon!" Surely Satanic infomercials would be next on the list in such a universe. Ah, but it's hard to imagine much of a "message" was really written for this one. It's a pretty standard revenge thriller with the supernatural angle thrown in as a Gimmick to cash in on the latest trends... and then there's that damned computer thing.

The basis for Evilspeak's banning by the BBFC/ DPP collaborative lies in a couple of areas. First off, the finale of this film is extremely violent, especially considering the majority of what came before. The Animal Cruelty taboo is either broken or so close to being broken that it was given a dishonorable mention. The most likely trump card that pushed this movie into Video Nasty territory was the eroticized mixture of nudity and death, starting with the headless topless chick on the beach and followed by a sick continuation later in the film. Most specifically the secretary for the Sarge (R.G. Armstrong) was a lovely beauty of the Librarian kind named Miss Friedemeyer (and played by the very hot Lynn Hancock). Her boggarting of the book causes much anger in the Demon Circles, so, after a really fantastic bathing scene (the woman is really lovely all over), she's attacked and eaten by giant Boars. Nasty? Nasty. I don't remember any of that crap in jb i i Girls Hot rj l Hot q q Hot Girls